


Nowhere To Run

by Traw



Category: The Streets of San Francisco
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crime, Emotional Hurt, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2018-11-01 19:45:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10928769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Traw/pseuds/Traw
Summary: Sometimes the worst thing we can offer is our best intentions. Mike Stone discovers this after Steve Keller is brutally attacked in his own apartment. Will Mike's best intentions drive Steve away? This story deals with male rape.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Rape is a devastating crime that tears the victim's life apart. Rape is never acceptable under any circumstance but unfortunately it does happen, far too frequently, and it happens not only against women but also against men. This is a story that deals with the crime of rape committed against one of our favorite Homicide inspectors and the affect it had on not only him but the rest of the guys. The rape scene within this story was necessary but is not explicit or graphic but please use reader's discretion - If you find this subject too confronting or disturbing then please hit the back button now and read no further.

Entering the bedroom, he crossed soundlessly to the side of the bed before silently placing the handcuffs that he was carrying on the bedside table. He then quietly set down a small brown briefcase beside the keys, carefully adjusting it several times until he seemed satisfied with its positioning. He turned back towards the bed and stood looking at the sleeping man as he licked his lips in anticipation.

He had seen the young inspector numerous times in the newspapers and on the television but in real life the sleeping man looked more innocent and younger, too young to be a homicide inspector and far too young to be stone’s partner. Grinning he imagined what Stone's reaction would be to what he was about to do to his Buddy boy.

Savoring the moment, he watched Keller's deep regular breathing, staring in the moonlight at the full lips he would soon be tasting. He froze when Keller murmured in his sleep and rolled over onto his stomach, the light sheet that covered him slipping off exposing the young man's naked body to his hungry stare.

He tried to slow his breathing as he quickly stripped out of his clothes and picked up the handcuffs that he had placed on the bedside table when he had first entered the bedroom. Leaning over the sleeping man he lightly brushed his hand across the sandy curls before grabbing Keller’s right arm that was lying beside his head, snapping the handcuff tightly around the wrist before yanking the arm violently down behind his victim's back as he grabbed the other wrist and swiftly cuffed it tightly.

The snapping of the handcuffs around his wrist snapped Steve into an instant state of consciousness. Crying out in surprise and pain as his arm was jerked behind his back, he began to struggle wildly as he felt his other arm grabbed and violently pulled behind him before it was snapped by the too tight metal of the handcuffs.

Fighting to free himself, Steve felt his lower back explode in a sea of agony as a fist slammed into his kidney, robbing him of his breath as his world momentarily blackened around him. He was vaguely aware of being turned over onto his back, trapping his arms painfully behind him as he felt hands run roughly over his body, touching him, rubbing him. He swallowed back the nausea that rose in his throat at the intimate contact and he tried to pull away as he stared up at the dark silhouette of the man that loomed above him. "Take your hands off me! Don't touch me!"

Steve's demands were answered by a hard punch into the stomach and he curled up in pain as he felt his attacker grab his hair and jerk his head up. "You're mine, Keller! You can relax and have fun or you can fight me but either way you are mine!" A voice breathed hotly into his ear and he was rolled back onto his back. He continued to struggle as the man leaning above him climbed onto the bed and forced himself between his legs, the man's weight pinning him to the bed as his screams of agony were muffled by the rough mouth that claimed his and he tried to slip into the protective darkness that offered him his only escape as his attacker used his body but even that small mercy was denied to him.

Climbing off his young victim, the stranger rose from the bed and turned the trembling man over, releasing Steve from the handcuffs before rolling him back onto his back. He stood a moment, staring down at his handy work before he leaned closer and gently caressed Keller’s expressionless face as he whispered, "Tell Stone that this is his fault, that the next time he tries to fool with me will be the last time he sees you alive!"

He reached down and pulled up the sheet, dropping it over the young inspector, before he turned and collected his clothes and the small briefcase that he had set on the bedside table and disappeared from the room.

Steve closed his eyes and rolled onto his side, whimpering in pain as he drew his arms tightly to his chest and curled up into a tight ball. He felt cold and numb, barely aware of the violent tremors that rocked his body as he tried to escape into the blessed darkness that had eluded him earlier.

Leaving the silent apartment, the attacker glanced around, reassuring himself that nobody had seen him as he slipped down the stairs of the apartment and slowly walked away, whistling.

OOOOOOO

Shouldering into his jacket, Mike Stone held the phone close to his ear listening to the unanswered rings. "Come on Buddy boy, pick up, I know you are there. Pick up!" He murmured. The uneasy feeling that something was seriously wrong with his young inspector and closest friend that had plagued him when he first noticed that Steve was late now rose to a new level as he listened to the tinny rings at the other end of the line. Slamming down the phone, he snatched his hat from the rack and hurried out of the bullpen, the urge to ensure all was well with Steve was almost overwhelming.

OOOOOOO

Shaking his head as his knocks went unanswered, Mike pulled his keys from his jacket and quickly located the key he wanted. Sliding it into the lock, he turned it and opened the door to his best friend's apartment. He called out Steve's name as he entered the apartment but again his behest went unanswered as he began to slowly move through the silent rooms, his hand resting on the handle of his weapon as he called again, "Steve!"

The sound of someone quietly moaning caught his attention and he moved swiftly towards the partially open door to Steve's bedroom and gently pushed it open. Steve lay curled up on his side facing the door, his hair was the only thing visible above the thin sheet that covered him. "Steve?"

Another soft moan was his only answer and he hurried across to the edge of the bed, his heart beating wildly within his chest as he carefully grabbed the sheet and pulled it back. "Steve?"

Steve cried out in fear and rolled away from the touch, moving to the far side of the bed. As the sheet moved with his friend's body, Mike stared at what was left in its place. No! It couldn't be... but as a cop he'd seen the awful stain too many times. Had even got to the point where he could smell it as he entered the room. Blood! He stared at where the sheet was stained and then glanced heart brokenly at his friend. "Oh God, Steve, tell me I'm wrong."

There was no answer from the obviously scared man who was still huddled on the other side of the bed. Mike wanted to reach for him, to lay a hand on his arm and draw him back close to his own body but if his suspicions were correct, human contact would be the last thing his friend would want. "Who was in here, Steve? Who did this to you?" he whispered softly, staring at the trembling man as his own emotions threatened to choke him but he fought them down, fought for control and won.

Forcing himself to act as a cop and not as a friend, Mike quietly walked around to the other side of the bed and knelt down, resisting the urge to place his hand on Steve's shaking shoulder. Steve's eyes were open but he stared sightlessly ahead. "Steve, its Mike! Can you hear me, Steve?" He gently placed his hand on Steve's shoulder in an attempt to get the younger man to respond.

Steve jumped at the contact and pulled away. "Don't touch me!" he whispered through chattering teeth as he pulled back from the comforting touch.

"Easy Steve, easy. It's me, Buddy boy, Mike! I'm going to get you to the hospital. Get someone to have a look at you." Mike said quietly as he lifted up the sheet and gently covered Steve fully, trying not to physically react to the dark bruising that marred Steve's body.

"NO! No hospital!" Steve pleaded desperately, "Just leave me alone. I'll be okay!"

"Steve, you know that I can't do that. You need to be checked out and any injuries treated." Mike admonished him firmly but gently, "You know that it is standard procedure in cases like this!"

"Please Mike," Steve begged desperately as he shivered under the light covering, "I don't want to go to the hospital! Please, don't make me go!"

Mike's chest ached as he felt his own heart break a little more at Steve's terrified pleas. He knew it would be difficult to stop the media from getting the details of Steve's hospital admission and as he studied the trembling man on the bed he knew that Steve would be unable to cope with the resulting media frenzy. Drawing a deep breath, he whispered, "Okay Steve, no hospital for the moment but I will get Lenny to look at you."

Steve gave a small reluctant nod and closed his eyes as he swallowed down a sob. He didn't really want anyone knowing, not even Lenny, but he knew Mike would not back down any further.

He could smell the blood and sickly odor of sweat and semen, his skin felt sticky and he felt dirty inside and out, he could even still feel his attacker, the rough hands pawing and touching. The smell was suddenly overpowering and he knew he was going to be sick.

He swallowed hard, trying to force the bile from rising into the back of his throat and bit back a moan as he tried to ignore the pain that seemed to spear through all parts of his body as he moved and attempted to sit up. God, he needed a shower, he needed desperately to get clean. He couldn't understand how Mike was managing to keep from vomiting when his own stomach was threatening to repel. With a sudden urgency, he struggled up and tried to get off the bed but Mike's hands held him down and he struggled to get free.

The wild and terrified look that suddenly haunted Steve's face and eyes caused Mike to react instinctively and he tried to calm the younger man down, "Easy Steve, easy."

"No...sick." Steve gasped as he fought against Mike's restraining hands.

Mike swiftly but carefully pulled Steve to his feet and supported the young man to the bathroom, reassuring him and holding his head as Steve dry retched into the toilet and violent spasms caused Steve to moan in pain. He continued to kneel next to Steve until he was certain the nausea had passed and gently lifted him to his feet. "Come on Steve, how about we get you dressed and then I will take you back to my place and get Lenny to come and check you over." he said quietly.

Steve shook his head. "No, I need a shower, I have to get clean!" He murmured, pulling out of Mike's firm hold and unsteadily stepping towards the shower.

"I'm sorry Steve, but you can't have a shower until after Lenny examines you. We need to collect evidence from your body." Mike reminded him softly, hating the words as they came out of his mouth, as he reached for Steve to guide him back into the bedroom. "I promise you, Buddy boy, that as soon as Lenny says so you can have a long hot shower."

"Please, you don't understand, I need to get rid of this filth. I can't stand it any longer! I feel...God...I feel...How can you stand to touch me?" Steve shouted, pulling free of his touch. His voice dropped to a desperate plea as the tears began to trickle down his face, "Please Mike, I just want to take a shower and then go back to sleep. You really don't have to stay."

"Steve, I promise you that when we get back to my place and Lenny checks you over you can have a long hot shower and sleep as long as you want to." Mike stated firmly as he wrapped the sheet back around Steve's shoulders, covering the young man as he led him into the living room and helped him settle onto the sofa, worried by Steve's sudden compliance.

He quickly returned to the bedroom and deliberately avoided looking at the bloodied bed as he opened the closet and removed a pair of sweatpants and a light shirt before returning to the now silent man who sat staring at the wall. "I'll help you dress," he said quietly as he reached for Steve's arm.

"Leave me alone. I can do it!" Steve snapped, snatching the clothes from Mike's hands before edging away from him on the sofa.

Biting his lip, Mike forced himself not to react from his friend's angry withdrawal from his touch, reminding himself that Steve was displaying all the normal reactions of a rape victim. He forced his expression and body language to remain neutral as he heard the soft moans of pain as Steve struggled into his clothes.

The world spun wildly around him as he stood and Steve was not certain if he was going to be able to stop the sudden nausea that rose in his throat. Every movement caused his body to scream out in agony and he wished that he could just lie down and escape into the darkness that flittered at the edges of his consciousness.

Mike watched as Steve's face paled several shades whiter as he rose unsteadily to his feet. He was uncertain of what was keeping his friend going but he knew Steve was on the verge of collapse. He was reconsidering ignoring Steve's plea of no hospital and calling an ambulance when Steve headed towards the apartment door. "Well if I can't shower here, I guess I have no choice but to go to your place" Steve growled angrily as he opened the door.

OOOOOOO

"I don't want to be examined!" Steve's terrified plea surprised Mike as the young man backed away from both Lenny and himself as the tears began to fall. "Please! I'm okay. I don't need to be checked out."

"Steve, you're not okay," Mike began quietly as he stepped towards the distraught young man unsure of what had caused the sudden refusal to be examined by Lenny.

"Mike, please…don't make me do this…" Steve continued to beg as he turned back towards Lenny as he continued to move away. "Lenny, I'm fine. Please, there's no need…."

Steve's sudden terror and reluctance to be examined told the psychiatrist more than Mike's urgent call about Steve being assaulted had and suddenly the doctor understood why Mike wanted him to examine Steve here and not in the hospital. The haunted look on the young inspector's pale face, the way he moved and the fear he was showing about the examination warned Lenny about the type of assault that he was dealing with.

Placing a hand on Mike's shoulder to stop the lieutenant from stepping closer, Lenny spoke softly, "I know you don't want to be examined Steve, but you could have some serious injuries" Stepping around Mike, Lenny walked slowly to where Steve watched him warily and gently took hold of Steve's arm, ignoring Steve's flinch at the contact as he began to lead the traumatized young man towards the bedroom, "Let's get the examination done and then you can have a shower." He murmured softly as he maneuvered Steve into the bedroom and closed the door firmly behind them.

Mike stood staring at the closed bedroom door for several seconds as unshed tears threatened to fall. Wiping a shaky hand over his face, he drew deep breath in an effort to keep control over his chaotic emotions as he turned and walked over to the phone He picked up the receiver and with a quick glance towards the door to ensure that it still closed, began to dial the familiar number to the office. He only had to wait until the second ring before. He jumped in surprise as the phone was answered almost immediately and he heard Lee answer,

"Homicide, Inspector Lessing speaking."

Quickly he explained what had happened, reassuring his inspector that Steve was safe and currently being examined by Lenny before he softly ordered, "Lee, I want you and Bill to get over to Steve’s apartment, search it with a fine-tooth comb and then interview the neighbors, find out if any of them saw or heard anything this morning. Get Norm to check Steve's reports, both homicide and when he was in uniform, see if he has received any threats or if there is someone wanting revenge."

"We make a lot of enemies in this job, Mike, both as a homicide cop and in uniform." he heard Lee answered sadly, "We'll get on it straight away."

"Thanks Lee, " Mike answered softly as he heard movement from the bedroom, "And Lee, make sure that this stays strictly between us for the moment, no leaks to anyone about what's happened. I don't want this leaking accidentally to the press until I have talked to more to Steve."

"Okay, Mike," Lee agreed before asking quietly, "What about the captain?"

"I'll talk to Roy later after I have taken Steve's statement but until then…" Mike hesitated, glancing again towards the bedroom before he lowered his voice, "Until then I will be here if you find something. I don't want Steve to be left on his own. Find something for me, Lee, anything that will nail the scum that did this!" Mike growled softly, his hand tightening painfully around the phone as he heard his inspector acknowledge the order.

Hanging up the phone, Mike turned around as the bedroom door opened and he watched silently as Lenny emerged from the room. He waited until the doctor joined him accepting the bundle of clothing that Steve had worn for the drive from his apartment, "Well" he asked anxiously, "how is he?"

Struggling to maintain his professional facade, Lenny cleared his throat and stared at the wall for a moment before he looked back at Mike. "He was raped." Lenny began, his voice faltering slightly as his control slipped. He shook his head and swallowed hard before he began again, "He initially didn't want to be examined but I managed to get him to agree to be checked thoroughly out. The examination showed that he had been raped. I ran a rape test and will drop the swaps off to Charlie. Steve was able to tell me that it was only one attacker who handcuffed him and beat him as well." Seeing the look of devastation in Mike's eyes Lenny again looked over the Homicide lieutenant’s shoulder as he continued his report. "He's sustained some anal tears that should heal without surgical intervention, I will give you a script for antibiotics to try and prevent any infections. He also sustained a hit to the left kidney that I am concerned may have caused severe bruising but he is refusing to go to the hospital to be x-rayed so all we can do is watch him carefully for any complications from the injury."

"What type of complications?" Mike asked anxiously,

"It's possible that the blow may have caused the kidney to bleed. We will need to be aware of that possibility if the pain becomes severe." Lenny answered softly, before softly warning Mike, "Steve is extremely traumatized, Mike, he is going to need a lot of help and support to recover from what has happened."

"He'll get it," Mike answered instantly, "I intend to help him through this."

Lenny shook his head before he took a deep breath and continued, "He's going to need professional help, he is going to need some counseling."

Mike fell silent as the words sunk in and he turned towards the open bedroom door, hearing the sounds of running shower from the ensuite. Any objections that came into his mind were forgotten as he heard another sound- the heartbreaking sounds of Steve softly sobbing. He swallowed hard as he nodded his agreement as he placed the bundle of clothes down on the sofa and headed towards the bathroom, "Whenever you want to set up an appointment?" he said quietly over his shoulder.

OOOOOOO

"I can't quite believe that this has happened." Bill shook his head as he glanced up from carefully bagging the bloodied sheets from the bed. "I'm not sure how I would deal with it if it happened to me. I mean…" His voice trailed off as he finished placing the stained evidence in the bag.

"I know what you mean,” Lee answered softly as he continued to study the room looking for more signs of a disturbance.

"Did Mike say how Steve is?" Charlie asked quietly as he placed the plastic evidence bag onto the ground next to his open forensic case and reached for the fingerprinting powder.

"All he said was that he has taken Steve back to his place and Lenny was examining him now." Lee shook his head sadly, "Steve's going to need all our support and understanding to recover from this. I can't even start to imagine what he must be going through."

Charlie hesitated, the fingerprinting brush poised above the small bedside table as he looked up at the two Homicide inspectors, "Do you think Steve is going to press charges? I mean…well with all the publicity that a case like this is going to cause… umm…if it was me…" The forensic expert blushed and looked away, embarrassed at his unspoken admission.

"To be honest, man I'm not sure if it happened to me that I would want the world knowing." lee answered as he scribbled a couple of observations he had made of the room into his notebook,

"Me either!" Charlie admitted as he returned his attention back to collecting the fingerprint, unconsciously touching the wooden table superstitiously in an attempt to ward off something like this ever happening to him.

OOOOOOO

Closing another file, Norm stared at the wall, chewing on his pencil. His thoughts were with the young man in Stone’s home and what he had been forced to endure. Slapping down the pencil onto his desk, the SFPD sergeant growled in a combination of horror and rage. No one deserved what had happened to Steve! NO ONE! The growl escaped his throat again and echoed around the small room- if he ever got his hands on the sicko responsible…

Grabbing another file, he savagely flicked it open and began to scan through the contents looking for any threat that would make the criminal a suspect. So far the pile of files that held potential suspects was growing at an almost alarming rate. The suspects they arrested and brought to justice never thanked SFPD or the homicide inspectors politely, instead the arresting officers were usually subjected to yelled threats of revenge. He shook his head as he closed the file and added it to the growing pile, all of the threats Steve had received were the usual threats of violence and none of the suspects showed the deviant sexual sadistic behavior of Steve's attacker but Norm knew that didn't mean much. Prison had a way of changing men and not always for the better.

OOOOOOO

Sitting on the chair opposite the sofa where Steve was now seated, Mike watched as Steve tried to hold the half-filled mug of hot coffee still. The way Steve's shaking hands were tightly wrapped around the mug would have normally have suggested that the young inspector was cold and was trying to warm his hands with the heat the mug but Mike knew the tremors were not caused by any cool temperature that was in the room but rather the evil iciness that had permeated his soul.

It had taken both Lenny and himself several minutes to calm the devastated young man in the shower and to help him dress. Steve had finally calmed down enough to have his damaged wrists bandaged and be interviewed about what had happened. It was not an interview that Mike wanted to do but one he knew was an evil necessity to move the case further and to catch the animal responsible.

He waited until Steve took another small sip of coffee before he began, "I know this is hard, Buddy boy, but I need you to tell me everything that happened this morning."

Steve paled and nodded, aware that he had little choice. As much as he just wanted to forget, he knew Mike wasn't going to just let this drop and pretend it didn't happen. He swallowed hard and looked past Mike and out of the open window at the brilliant blue sky beyond. He didn't dare to look his friend in the eye as he recounted what happened, he didn't want to see the looks of disappointment and disgust when he would have to admit that he had not fought hard enough to stop the attack "I…I was asleep," he began almost in a soft whisper, "When I was woken by someone grabbing my arm and handcuffing my wrist." He faltered and blinked hard as the memory threatened to overwhelm him as he forced himself to continue. "I tried to fight…but I guess I didn't try hard enough…" he admitted, not daring to even look at the other two men in the room.

"You fought hard, Steve, the injuries to your wrists from the handcuffs are more than enough evidence to confirm that." Lenny quietly interrupted.

The young inspector shrugged in disbelief as he continued. "He managed to handcuff both my hands and then punched me in the back, I guess to stop me struggling long enough so he could turn me over." Steve closed his eyes as the tears began to fall and he struggled to speak through his tightening throat, "It was dark and all I could see was a dark shape but I felt his hands touching me, I …I told him to get his hands off me, tried to get away but he …he didn't… he…he climbed on the bed…climbed on top of me…and he…" Steve's voice trailed away as the tears began to fall harder. Drawing a deep breath, he forced himself to continue with the report, "After…after he had… finished… he left."

His young friend's account of the attack was hard to listen to and Mike silently curled his hands into fist held tightly at his sides in an attempt to remain in control as he softly asked, "Can you describe him at all, Steve?"

The young inspector shook his head, not wanting to remember, "It... It was dark… I just…I just saw the shape." He hedged, hoping Mike wouldn't push him to remember any more details.

Mike frowned at his friend's apparent lack of memory of what his attacker looked like and with a quick glance at Lenny who was watching Steve closely, pushed a little harder. "Think Buddy boy, even if it was dark you must have an idea to how large he was? Did he speak maybe?"

Steve shrugged, _'Tell Stone that this is his fault_.' Refusing to look his closest friend in the eyes, he mumbled, "He didn't say a word."

Steve shifted uncomfortably on the sofa as Steve's living room began to fill with people. Even though it was just Bill and Lee who had joined himself, Steve and Lenny, the larger group made Steve feel unusually claustrophobic. He shifted uncomfortably again; acutely aware that they all knew his shame and he feared to look any of them in the face, afraid to see the disgust and pity he knew would be written there. He swallowed hard as he stared down at his hands as he listened to his friends discuss what little evidence they had recovered from his attack…. from HIM…

"Charlie confirmed that the blood on the sheets was A Positive, Steve’s blood type," Bill began, glancing sympathetically at the uncomfortable young inspector sitting with them as he continued, "But the blood group of the semen collected from the sheets and from Steve's rape kit," Bill's heart broke a little as he saw Steve flinch and he glanced uncomfortably towards Lee and Mike as he continued a little softer, "was O Negative There was also several smudged palm and fingerprints in Steve's bedroom but unfortunately none that I could use. No obvious signs of a break-in either." Bill's voice trailed off as he noticed Steve's rising discomfort.

"So, he possibly had a key?" Mike asked. At Bill's silent nod, Mike turned his attention towards Lee, "What about the neighbors? Did anyone see or hear anything?"

"Too early in the morning, Mike," Lee began hesitantly as he watched Steve's distress at the discussion rise, "Most people were asleep and heard and saw nothing, although I have one witness who noticed a stranger lurking outside the apartment building at about 6.30 this morning. The description isn't great, Caucasian, about 6 ft. maybe one hundred and sixty pounds. “

Mike shook his head in disgust as he turned back to his partner and the victim and asked gently. "Does that description sound familiar, Buddy boy?”

Steve jumped at the question and glanced up in humiliation and embarrassment. "I…I don't know," He murmured, looking away from the faces that were watching him closely, "I…I told you, Mike…it was dark…"

"I know it was dark and that you were woken out of a deep sleep, Buddy," Mike said softly, unable to keep his desperation for Steve to remember more so they could catch the bastard from seeping into his voice, "but I need you to remember. If we are going to catch this animal, we need to investigate…"

"Stop it, Mike, I don't want you to investigate it!" Steve yelled as he suddenly rose and backed towards the door, "Don't you get it? I just want to forget it ever happened! I just want you to leave me alone!"

"But Steve, we can't let him get away with this."

Steve could feel his insides turning to dust, his anger turning to pleas. "Don't you understand, Mike? If I have to testify everyone will know...everyone!"

"That's not…"

"That's what not? That's not true? It is! God, Mike, please just do what I ask and just leave it alone. Please, just leave me alone!"

Mike watched shocked as Steve turned and fled out of the door. The other men watched helplessly as the door slammed closed behind the upset young man.

The shock was quickly replaced with guilt at Steve's words and Mike stepped forward to follow and try to explain but before he could take two steps towards the door, Lenny grabbed his arm and stopped his egress, "Leave him Mike, let him go! He needs just to have some time to himself!"

Mike nodded and he turned back towards the other men in the room, even more determined to get his friend some justice, "Okay, what else do we have to do to put this scum away forever?"

OOOOOOO

Steve ran down the stairs and leaned against the wall behind him. He closed his eyes as the tears burned his cheeks and tried to concentrate on the coolness of the wall as it soaked into his shirt. "Please, Mike. Please just leave it alone." he whispered brokenheartedly

OOOOOOO

He stood in the shadows watching as the young inspector rushed out of the house and almost ran down the street. He shook his head at the predictability of Stone and the way the lieutenant had protectively ushered the younger man to his home after he had discovered the rape. He chuckled softly, wishing he had seen Stone's face when he had discovered his partner naked and abused.

He stepped out to follow the fleeing man but quickly changed his mind. "It's okay, he'll be back. There's no way Stone is going to let him stay anywhere else but under his wing." He grinned to himself as he nodded in self-satisfaction before he settled back into the shadows to watch the silhouettes of the four men still in the house through the thin curtains.


	2. Chapter 2

Frowning as he listened to the other man's report, Roy Devitt shook his head at the distinct lack of evidence collected so far. He had felt physically ill and horrified when Mike had first contacted him about Steve's assault and wasn't surprised by Steve’s obvious reluctance to have the case investigated. He knew that without either solid evidence or the traumatized young man’s co-operation they could not even hope to make a case and by the sound of Mike's report Steve was not willing to have the assault investigated or even to press charges if his rapist was found. No Victim- No crime- No matter how much everyone wanted to bring the bastard who had raped Steve to justice but without Steve’s co-operation, Roy knew that the DA wouldn’t even consider prosecuting the case.

He waited for Mike to finish before he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "Look Mike, I am just as upset and angry as you are about what happened to Steve this morning and I want to get the bastard as much as you do but unless Steve is willing to allow an investigation and press charges, we both know there is not a lot that we can do."

"Roy, he's upset at the moment and in shock but I promise that after he calms down and I talk to him, he'll agree that this scum should be punished for what he did." Mike argued, leaning closer to Roy’s desk, his face a mixture of barely contained angst and anger.

Roy sighed as he looked across the desk at his upset lieutenant, "Think about it Mike, do you really think that Steve is going to be willing to get up in court and admit to being raped? Just imagine the media frenzy that the case would generate. His life would never be the same again and it could very mean the end of his career as well. How would you feel, having to continue to work with colleagues who knows every single detail of your rape by another man? Knowing the type of questions they must be asking themselves? Did he ask or encourage it? He’s a trained cop, why didn’t he fight or did he just allow it to happen? And we both know that’s the type of questions people, even his fellow cops, are going to be asking.” Realizing his voice was rising in volume as he tried to make Mike understand, he took a large breath before he continued more softly. “Mike, you just told me yourself that he already doesn’t want anyone else to know what happened. He doesn’t want it investigated. Have you thought that maybe Steve’s right? Maybe he should  put this behind him and move on."

"Damn it, Roy, don’t you care that one of your own men was sexually assaulted in his own apartment this morning?"

"Now, just hang on, Mike!" Roy exploded, rising to his feet, as his face reddened with anger, "You know I do, but you said yourself, Steve doesn't want to proceed with the matter any further! It's his choice as the victim here and unless he makes that choice with his own free will then I will respect his wishes. Until Steve agrees I don’t want this case investigated."

Rising to his own feet, Mike stared at his friend as he said softly, "Once Steve has had a little time, I know he’s going to want us to find this scumbag and put him behind bars where he belongs.”

 "You have to find him first, Mike, doesn't that tell you something? " Roy answered quietly as he stared at the upset man standing opposite him. He knew the two partners had become close in the two years they had been together but Mike’s reaction to Steve’s rape spoke volumes of just how close their friendship and concern for each other had grown. Sighing, Roy say back down before he looked up at Mike as he continued gently. “Well if it doesn't tell you anything, it does tell me a lot. It tells me that Steve isn't ready or doesn't want to deal with this yet! And I can totally understand and sympathize with how he is feeling. I know you want justice for Steve after what happened and believe me, I totally understand your feelings but please, Mike, think about it before you try and push Steve into doing something he may not want to do."

“I know Steve and I know he will want to see justice done. And I am going to make sure he gets justice.” Mike answered, his voice trembling just slightly as the anger at what Steve had endured began to boil over. Swallowing hard, he turned and hurried the room, slamming the door closed behind him.

Roy sighed. "I hope you're right Mike, but I also hope that it's Steve's choice and not yours." he muttered barely jumping as his door slammed closed.

OOOOOOO

Disappointed at the lack of progress on Steve's 'unofficial' rape case, Mike sighed as he closed the file on Charlie's forensic report of the evidence that had been collected from Steve and his apartment before removing his reading gasses and rubbing his tired eyes. He had been desperately hoping that maybe they had missed something but Charlie's report had been thorough. Everything had been checked and double-checked and still there was little evidence that they could use.

Reaching again for the statements that Bill had collected from neighbors and potential witnesses, Mike growled, incensed at how someone could be attacked in their own home, surrounded by neighbors and friends and yet no one seemed to have noticed anything. The only witness who could offer any help was only able to give a vague description of a large man standing in the street at the bottom of the stairs to the apartments about the same time as the attack. Even the victim was unwilling to co – operate, Steve claimed it was too dark to make out what his attacker looked like.

Mike paused and frowned as he remembered Steve's own words-  _'I…I told you Mike…it was dark…'_  It wasn't dark when the witness saw the stranger in the street; it was a little after dawn. The witness description of the stranger matched with the vague description Steve had managed to give him earlier. _'Had dawn broke as Steve had been assaulted? Was it possible that Steve had seen his attacker's face? Did Steve know his attacker or was he hiding something else about the attack?'_

Rising from his chair, Mike grabbed his coat and hat and headed towards the door. He needed to find Steve.

OOOOOOO

Standing beside the car, Mike watched the lone figure sitting on the edge of the cliff staring out towards the darkening horizon. It hadn't taken Mike long to find his missing friend; he knew that Steve would want to be somewhere where he could be alone when he needed to think. It had then just been a matter of driving around the bay and checking out the secluded inlets and the deserted rocky cliffs near the bridge to find where his upset friend had gone.

Uncertain if his presence would be welcomed or even tolerated by the young man who had become so alienated from him in the last few hours, Mike quietly approached, "Steve?"

Steve remained motionless and silent, never reacting to or acknowledging the soft voice behind him. He seemed lost in his own world, withdrawn from the world that surrounded him physically.

Mike hesitated a moment, uncertain if he should intrude but needing to make sure that Steve was all right. The need became too great and sitting down beside him, Mike carefully placed his arm around the shaking shoulder and drew Steve into a light hug. With a trembling hand, he reached across and gently grabbed Steve's chin and gently turned his face towards him. His breath caught in his chest as he found himself looking into the tear filled green eyes of his partner and closest friend that stared back at him in such pain.

Steve's initial reaction was to pull away, unwilling to show any more weakness than he already had, but that was overridden by the part of him that desperately needed comfort, and the gentle touch of the person he trusted most in this world reached clear through to his agonized and bleeding soul.

"Please Steve, I'm sorry if you think I am pushing you. I only want what is best for you. Come on, Buddy boy, just talk to me," Mike pleaded softly, his own heart breaking as he whispered desperately, “Please don't shut me out."

The tears that filled the younger man's eyes spilled over as he drew a shuddering breath and whispered, "I keep wondering if I did something that may have… maybe I said something…" Steve's voice trailed off as he turned back and began to stare out at the horizon again, "Maybe I even asked for it!" he whispered tearfully.

The whisper was silenced as Mike gently placed his hand back onto his chin and firmly forced him to face him again. "Listen to me, Steve, you did nothing that encouraged this animal last night. I don't want you to ever think that you did!" Encouraged when Steve didn't pull away, Mike continued, “I promise we are going to catch this scum, Buddy boy, and put him away so he can never hurt you again.

Suddenly Steve pulled free from Mike’s comforting hug, staring wide-eyed at his friend as he slowly and unsteadily rose to his feet, stumbling as he began to back away. "Mike… I … I'm sorry… I can't…"

Jumping to his own feet, Mike reached for Steve; fearful of how close to the cliff edge that he was backing unknowingly towards. Grabbing Steve's arms to halt his fearful retreat, Mike whispered, "It's going to be okay, Steve, I promise, everything is going to be okay."

Steve continued to stumble backwards, his fear and terror evident in his green eyes as he broke free of Mike's light hold, “No, it won't be…everyone will know…"

Steve's foot hit the loose stones at the cliff's edge and he lost his balance as Mike lunged instinctively and caught his arm, pulling Steve towards him. He braced himself as Steve's body slammed into his, staggering back a few steps as he struggled to maintain their balance as his arms wrapped protectively around the younger man tightly. He could feel Steve shiver in his arms as he pulled Steve even closer and waited for his own fear filled tremors to stop.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, Mike relaxed the hold he had around his friend a little as he asked, "Are you alright, Buddy boy?" Receiving no response from the silent man who was still trembling in his arms, he drew slightly away, trying hard to look at Steve's face as he softly ordered, "Steve, look at me!" Steve's pale face slowly looked up at him and Mike's breath caught in his throat. The need to protect this man from any more pain was almost overwhelming and he swallowed hard. "Everything’s going to be okay, Steve, I promise."

Steve nodded numbly and pulled free of Mike’s comforting arms, turning back towards the bay and the dark storm clouds that now were rolling quickly towards the land.

Errant drops of rain began to fall as lightning briefly lit the sky. Mike tried to catch a momentarily glance of Steve as the dark sky was lit but could read little into the expression on Steve's face. Uncertain whether to ask again if Steve was all right, he looked around for Steve's car, realizing that he had not noticed it when he had arrived. Unable to see it parked nearby he quietly asked Steve how he got to the isolated spot.

"I caught a lift up with a friend." Steve looked around as if searching for someone in the dark and the rain before adding softly, "But I guess they left."

Mike nodded uncertainly, not liking his friend's reactions; "It's starting to rain, Buddy boy, why don't you come home with me. We can get dry and warm and I even think I still have some tuna casserole in the fridge that we can heat up for dinner. What do you say?"

Biting his lip in indecision, Steve sighed before he reluctantly agreed. He knew he needed a lift back and he wasn't totally certain that at the moment if he really wanted to be alone. He glanced at Mike as the words of his attacker echoed again through his mind _'Tell Stone that this is his fault’_. He wasn't certain that he wanted to be with Mike either but was unable to come up with an excuse not to accept the ride or the dinner invitation. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Mike's feelings by declining without a good reason to do so. Slowly he followed Mike to the car and climbed into the passenger’s side.

The drive home to De Haro Street was unnaturally silent and Mike stole several quick glances across at his passenger. The younger man again seemed lost in a world of his own as he stared out of the window and Mike silently vowed to catch the sicko that had taken the life spark that was Steve away.

OOOOOOO

Holding the mug of coffee between his hands, Mike sighed as he stared at the closed door to the spare bedroom. Steve had declined eating dinner claiming he wasn't feeling hungry before he had retreated immediately into the bedroom after Mike had suggested that he stay the night rather than go back to his own apartment. Blinking back his own tears that threatened to fall, Mike could still hear Steve’s half-muffled sobs, echoing in his mind, long after they had stopped. He had been at a complete loss with what to do to help. The younger man had completely shut him out, making it clear before he had gone into the bedroom that he was unwilling to talk or even wanted company. It was heartbreaking to see his young friend like this and not be able to help.

Uncertain of just how to break through the protective emotional wall that Steve appeared to have erected around himself, Mike swallowed and sighed again. He raised the mug to his lip, taking a sip of the now lukewarm beverage as he grimaced. Continuing to stare at the door as he lowered the mug again, trying to ignore the guilt that stabbed at him when he realized he was grateful that the combination of the painkillers Lenny had prescribed and the young man’s physical exhaustion had finally caught up with Steve less than an hour before. It allowed his young friend to get some much-needed sleep.

“No, don’t...Leave me alone.”

The soft and terrified pleas from the bedroom startled him, causing him to jump and spill his coffee. Rising quickly to his feet, Mike unconsciously slammed the half-filled mug down hard on the coffee table beside his chair before he hurried across to the bedroom.

“Oh God, get off me!” Steve cried out, struggling against the sheets that entangled him as Mike rushed into the room and quickly crossed to his friend’s side.

“Easy, Steve, easy,” he murmured softly as he knelt beside the bed and tried to gently free the terrified, still sleeping man from the material that held him tight.

“Easy, Buddy boy you’re safe...you’re safe.” Mike whispered gently as he lightly touched Steve’s sweat soaked hair and repeated the soft reassuring mantra, uncertain if his friend even heard him.

“No, don’t! Get your hands off of me...Don’t touch me…” Steve’s heart-wrenching pleas slowly faded away as he relaxed back into a deeper but restless sleep.

“Shh, shhh, you’re safe, Buddy boy, you’re safe. I will not let anyone hurt you again.” Mike murmured, unaware of the tears that trickled down his face as he continued to whisper soft reassurances to the sleeping man before he softly promised. “I promise Steve, we're going to get through this together - somehow.”


	3. Chapter 3

"Get your hands off me! Don't touch me!" Steve's tormented cries echoed through the silent house, startling Mike out of a light sleep. "Leave me alone!"

The softer plea tore at Mike’s heart as he threw back the covers of his bed and jumped out of bed, hurrying to Jeannie’s room where his young friend was sleeping. Pushing open the partially closed door, he quickly crossed to the bed and reached for the restless man as Steve struggled against the sheets that entangled him; again, crying out, "Don't touch me!"

"Easy, Steve, easy! You're safe, Buddy Boy, I’m here," Mike whispered as he gently grabbed Steve’s shoulders in an attempt to stop the younger man's terrified and frantic struggling.

The sensation of being touched woke Steve instantly and he cried out in fright as he tried to pull away.

"Easy, Steve, easy. It's just me, Mike. You're safe!"

The younger man blinked in confusion as he opened his eyes and focused on the worried face above him as the memory of his dream returned. Embarrassed that he must have woken Mike with his nightmare, he tried to slow his racing heart as he tried to untangle himself from the sheet that was wrapped tightly around him "Sorry!" he muttered unable to look his friend in the face as he sat up in the bed and rubbed a hand across his face to hide the red flush that rose in his cheeks. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"There’s nothing to be sorry about, Buddy Boy" Mike forced a small reassuring smile as he lightly squeezed the younger man's shoulder, "It was time for me to get up and get ready for work anyway." Studying the exhausted face of his friend, he asked quietly, "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a bad dream." Steve nodded weakly, still embarrassed he had woken his friend up, as he tossed the sheet aside and started to climb out of bed, stifling a groan as his sore body protested at the movement.

"Whoa, where are you going?” Mike asked as he tried to gently push Steve back onto the bed.

"I got to get ready to go to the office, Mike." The younger man frowned as he brushed his friend's restraining hands away; "I’m supposed to meet up with the DA at nine to go over my evidence for the Thornton case before we take it to court next week, remember, and I still have double check the witnesses' statements from the Brinson stabbing yesterday."

"The DA can wait until your well enough before having you go your evidence for the Thornton case and Lee can deal with the witness statement, I want you to stay here and rest." Mike ordered gently.

“But Mike…” Steve began to protest.

“Don’t try and but Mike, me, Buddy Boy, I know that you didn't sleep well last night." Steve blushed and dropped his head at the correct observation as Mike softly continued. "Anyway, you have an appointment at ten with Lenny to talk about what happened yesterday."

Steve's head snapped up at the news about the appointment with psychiatrist. "I don't need to talk to Lenny, Mike!" he protested angrily, pushing himself up and out of bed. "I'm fine! All I need is to get back to work and put all this behind me!"

"You’re not fine, Steve!" Mike told him gently as he grabbed the younger man's arm and turning him around to face him. He gently squeezed Steve’s arms as he continued, "You can't just pretend this didn't happen. You need to talk to someone about what happened Steve, and Lenny is the one who is best equipped to help you deal with it."

"Why don’t you listen to what I’m trying to tell you Mike,” Steve growled with a mixture of anger and fear, pulling out of Mike's light hold, "I told you yesterday that I just want to put this behind me! I don't want to deal with it nor do I want it investigated! As for talking about it with Lenny - there's no way…"

"I’m afraid that you that you have no choice about talking to Lenny." Mike interrupted firmly, his heart breaking at the ultimatum he was about to give. "As your lieutenant and as your friend, I can’t let you return to duty, not until after you have spoken to Lenny and he clears you."

"Mike..." Steve's eyes opened wide in disbelief as the implications of what his friend was telling him began to set in and he stared at Mike for a minute before he managed to whisper, "Are you benching me?"

"I'm only trying to do what I think is the best thing for you, Steve," Mike answered honestly, reaching again for the younger man, "You need to talk about what has happened, Steve.  Just listen to yourself, you are wanting to pretend that nothing even happened yesterday…" his voice faltered and he looked away, swallowing hard to regain his own swirling emotions before he returned his attention back to his upset young friend and continued, "You aren't even willing to let us investigate or bring this scum to face justice for what he did to you. It's not like you to just give up. You need to talk to someone that can help you deal with everything that happened. Please…"

"You seem to think you know what's best for me! That I'm incapable of looking after myself!" Steve hissed before he shook his head slowly, hurt and disappointment replacing the white-hot anger that flared only moments ago, "You don't trust me to deal with this my own way, do you, Michael?"

"Steve..." Mike began, horrified at Steve hurt accusation as he saw the pain and hurt in Steve’s green eyes before Steve turned away from him. “That’s not what I meant…” he pleaded softly, desperate to explain as he Steve’s shoulders slump as the younger man took a deep shuddering breath and ran his hand over his head.

Steve swallowed hard, trying to regain control over his tumultuous emotions as he unconsciously rested his hand on the back of his neck and turned back around to face Mike, aware that if he wanted to back to work he had no other choice but to speak with Lenny. Raising his hands in surrender, Steve tried not to wince as the small defeated movement re-ignited the pain in his back caused by his bruised kidney before he sighed heavily, "Okay Mike, you win. I'll talk to Lenny but this doesn't mean that I'm going to let you talk me into filing a complaint. I just want to get back to work and forget about this ever happening. Please, let's just leave it at this."

Mike forced a small smile as he reached across and lightly squeezed Steve’s shoulder, his heart breaking just a little more as he felt Steve jump and recoil slightly away from his touch, "Okay, Buddy boy, please just talk to Lenny first before you decide about whether or not you really want me to drop any investigation, okay?”

Steve gave a short sharp nod, his heart sinking that Mike did not seem to understand that he just wanted to forget about what happened, he just wanted to put it behind him and move on. “Okay.”

Relieved at his young friend’s reluctant agreement to talk to Lenny, Mike affectionately squeezed Steve’s arm, “Now why don’t you relax while I get dressed and then I will whip us up some breakfast. Scrambled eggs and coffee sound okay?"

Steve sighed unhappily and nodded as he watched Mike turn and head back to his bedroom to dress for work.


	4. Chapter 4

Disappointed at the lack of progress on Steve's 'unofficial' rape case, Mike sighed as he removed his glasses, placing them on top of the thin folder and pinched the bridge of his nose. Charlie's forensic report of the evidence that had been collected from Steve and his apartment after the attack yesterday had been thorough. Everything had been checked and double-checked and still there was little evidence that they could use.

Reaching again for the statements that Bill had collected from neighbors and potential witnesses, Mike picked up his glasses again and put them back on before he began to flick through the statements, searching desperately for something, anything, that might give them the lead they so desperately needed. The only witness who could offer any help was only able to give a vague description of a large man standing in the street about the same time as the attack. Even the victim was unwilling to co–operate. Steve claimed it was too dark to make out what his attacker looked like.

Pushing the folder away with a mixture of anger, grief, and frustration, Mike sighed. How someone could be attacked in their own home, surrounded by neighbors and friends and yet no one seemed to have noticed anything? Slowly he looked up and stared out of the office at Steve’s empty desk, frowning as he remembered Steve's own words before Steve had fled from his house yesterday when he had tried to gently elicit a statement from Steve about the attack. “ _I told you_ , _you Mike…it was dark…'_   Mike’s frown deepened as he looked back down at the file containing the statements before quickly searching through it for the statement he wanted, reading and re-reading it several times. It wasn't dark when the witness saw the stranger in the street; it was a little after dawn. The witness description of the stranger matched with the vague description Steve had managed to give.

Rising from his chair, Mike walked out to the coffee table in the bullpen and poured himself a mug of coffee before he reached into his pocket and pulled out a couple of coins, dropping them into the jar. Picking up the mug, his nose wrinkled at the strong bitter odor that warned him the coffee had probably been sitting there most of the night. Lifting the mug to his lips. he took a small sip as he turned back and stared at Steve’s desk. Had dawn broke as Steve was being assaulted? Was it possible that Steve had seen his attacker's face?’ Mike froze as a horrifying thought crossed his, one that could explain Steve’s reluctance to have the assault investigated. Had Steve recognized his attacker?  Could Steve’s attacker be someone Steve or someone they both knew?

0000000

_"Only you can decide how you want to handle this, Steve, you are the only one who can make the decision on whether you want the assault investigated or not, not Mike."_

" _How can I stop him? He won't listen! He's decided what is best for me!"_

_"We both know Mike is doing what he thinks is the right thing to do. You’re his partner, Steve, he is just trying to do his best for you and he is not sure what else to do but find the person who did this and make sure he can never do it again to you, or to anyone else. But we both know that only you can really decide what best for you. You can let it tear you apart by not dealing with it or you can deal with it and move beyond what happened. I know that you say that you can't remember everything that happened but I think you do. You need to talk about it, as hard and frightening as that might seem. I promise you that whatever you say stays in this room, No one, not even Mike will be told anything we discuss unless you give me permission."_

The session he had just had with Lenny replayed over and over in Steve’s head as he paid the driver and exited the cab. Stepping out onto the sidewalk, he stared up at his apartment building as he built up the courage to enter inside.

The walk up the stairs to his apartment seemed to take forever and he could feel his heart rise up in his throat as he reluctantly approached the front door of his apartment and pulled the keys to his apartment out of his pants pocket. It took him several attempts before he was able to calm his shaking hand enough to place his key into the lock and he held his breath in fear as he pushed the door slowly open.

He entered cautiously, leaving the door open behind him as he scanned the room. When no one jumped out at him; he chided himself for being so stupid as he hurried across to his bedroom to grab a few changes of clothes.

The mattress was bare, all the sheets and bedding had been removed, even the pillows. It was just as well. He'd never use those things again; in fact, he might go out and buy a new bed. He shuddered as the memory of what happened in his bed yesterday flooded through his consciousness. No, he'd never be able to sleep there again. The bed had to go.

Turning to his closest, he quickly pulled the door open and began to grab whatever clothes that were closest to him as the room seem to shrink and the air seemed to disappear, threatening to suffocate him. Maybe he needed more than a new bed. Maybe he needed a new apartment. Looking anxiously around, he wondered if he would ever feel comfortable, or safe, here again.

After stuffing his clothes into a small travel bag, he grabbed his car keys off the bedside table before he turned and nearly ran for the door. Reaching the safety of the outside, he slammed the door closed before he stumbled down the stairs.  _'If we are going to catch this animal, we need to investigate…Buddy Boy, we can't let him get away with this.'_  Mike's voice screamed over and over in his head.

"No, Mike, if you do everyone will know…you will know…" Steve whispered brokenheartedly to himself as he fumbled with his keys before he managed to unlock and open the car door. Sliding behind the wheel, he revved the engine as he accelerated away from the curb, his wheels squealing and momentarily losing grip on the slick cement. He had to get away!


	5. Chapter 5

Taking a sip of his coffee, Lenny looked over his mug at his companion sitting opposite as he softly said, "Steve Keller came and saw me this morning for his first session."

"How did it go?" Roy asked cautiously.

"About as well as I expected the first session to go.” Lenny began before he sighed, “He claims that he is fine and couldn't understand why Mike insisted that he undergo a counseling session with me but he is extremely reluctant to talk about what happened which isn’t surprising. When I did manage to get him to start talking about the rape, he denies remembering many details of what happened."

"And you don't believe he doesn't remember?" Roy asked frowning.

Placing the mug back down onto the table, Lenny answered softly, "I think he remembers every second of the attack but something tells me that he isn't telling anyone the full details of what occurred. He's trying hard to hide something… I'm not sure what it is yet."

"Maybe he believes that he is somehow responsible." Roy suggested.

"Hmmm," the psychiatrist hummed noncommittally as he lifted the mug back up to his lips and took a sip before lowering it down again and holding it firmly between his hands as he eyed the Homicide lieutenant, "I'm sure with a little time and understanding, he should open up and tell me everything that happened. I understand that Mike is insisting that Steve stays with him and not return to his apartment."

"Mike's concerned for Steve's safety. He still doesn't know if this is a random sexual assault or something more." Roy explained, "He gets a little protective when it comes to his partner."

"That's understandable.” Lenny nodded, “The two of them are close, not only as partners but also friends. They are both quite protective of each other. How do you think Mike would feel about Steve possibly returning back to work tomorrow?"

"Do you think he is ready to?" Roy blinked in surprise as he remembered Mike telling him how Steve had rushed from his house the day before when Mike had tried to get a statement from him about what the rape.

  "I think he needs to return to his normal routine quickly. I'm not talking about full police duties just yet just light office duties. Physically he's fine for light duties as long as he takes it easy.” Leaning forward in his chair, Lenny looked across the desk at Roy as he continued. “I think Steve needs to get back into his normal routine as soon as possible; sitting around Mike’s house, dwelling on what happened is not going to be healthy for him. And Steve wants to be back at work, he wants to get back the control in his life that he feels he has lost. But…”

“He feels Mike is pressuring him to allow him to investigate the rape but he doesn't want that to happen, he is extremely scared that the rape will become public knowledge; he just wants to move past it and move on with his life. I'm worried about how much Mike's own unconscious sense of getting justice for Steve, and the over protectiveness he feels for Steve because of the rape is going to interfere with that. I am worried if Mike continues to try to convince Steve to allow him to investigate the rape and tries to get him to press charges, just how Steve is going to react."

Lenny sighed before he took another small sip of his coffee. Lowering the mug, a little, he looked over the rim, "I'm thinking of setting up an appointment with Mike to discuss the best ways of how he can help in helping Steve’s recovery. "

Roy nodded his agreement, "That might work.”

“I’ll set it up for later this afternoon.” Lenny decided before he lifted the mug and swallowed the last mouthful of coffee before sitting the empty mug back down on the table. “I want to get Steve back to work as soon as tomorrow if that's possible. If we are all on the same page and in agreement with how this whole thing is handled the easier it will be to pave the way for his complete recovery."

"I'll arrange it," Roy reassured the consulting Psychiatrist as they rose from their seats and began to walk towards the office door.

“And I will drop in on Mike and talk to him about Steve returning to work.” Lenny told Roy as he followed the Homicide lieutenant out of his office.


End file.
